I Can't Do EVERYTHING

In my last post, I wrote, "I can do all things through Christ which strenghtenth me."

This scripture doesn't mean I can do EVERYTHING. It means when we do things through Christ, He will give us strength. But we need to decipher in our lives what is required of us, recommended of us, or restricted to us.

I have a tendency of signing up for everything. If it falls under the required or recommended category, I immediately place it in the required group and try to do everything.

For example, 3 years ago, I had the strongest impression I needed to go to school and finish my degree. This I placed under the required category. It had always been in the recommended category, but once the prompting was there, I moved that (rightfully) to the required category. I have since gotten my associate's degree, and am pursuing my bachelor's degree.

However, this impression didn't say, "Get your degree as fast as you can!" I added on the preposition, and like someone who wants to follow the Lord, I signed up for full-time classes.

It all came to a head last night, when doing homework, after a full day of taking care of 3 kids, doing yard work, and taking care of my chickens, I broke down. I realized I cannot do EVERYTHING. I can't make time, and I certainly cannot put off my responsibilities to my kids, my house, and my awesome little farm.

Another example is homeschooling. I want to homeschool. There I said it. My neighbor homeschools her sweet boys and it look like fun, and I love the idea of my kids learning from me, and not what the federal government decides for them to learn that year. I have been toying with the idea of homeschooling for nearly 2 years now. And by toying, I mean being tormented beyond belief. It is something that probably falls under the "recommended" category. I was willing, I was ready to take the plunge, something kept me right on the verge of ordering curriculum and stealing my child away from "state-funded daycare" as one homeschooling mom put it.

Last year my husband was diagnosed with stage II appendix cancer on the first day of school. Was that what lead me to be hesitant? Possibly, there's never a way to be sure. After 6 months of chemo, they think they have it all, and scans are scheduled to look for more. Could I homeschool while being a caregiver to my husband? Probably, as some moms point out, it only takes a couple hours a day. But my daughter needed a break from the chemo, the cancer, and she just needed to be a kid this year.

So can we do EVERYTHING? Some moms can, and I stare in wonderment as they walk down the street. But I know that I can't, and I'm okay with that. I'm ok that I ate cereal for breakfast, and my kids had waffles made with *gasp* white flour. I'm okay that I walked my daughter to the bus in my sweats with my bedhead, but she still kissed me goodbye.

My family will survive public school, my family will survive me going to school, we will even survive a cancer diagnosis. But we cannot survive if Mom loses their you-know-what nearly everyday from trying to be everything to everyone. I have my limitations, and that's okay.

As Proverbs puts it, "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." (Proverbs 14:1) That scripture has never meant more to me than it does now. I know exactly what they mean by plucketh their house down. Like the go crazy and lock yourself in your pantry, losing your temper, or what I'm majorly guilty of, signing up for too much stuff and losing your mind when you are so overly stressed. 

If we constantly listen to the Lord, praise His name, and teach our kids about Christ, we will be enough.