Guys, life is hard, like crazy hard. Especially for moms.
There is so much pressure, on what to feed your kids, what sleeping method to use, are your kids potty trained by 2, and making sure your kids are eating all-natural, non-gmo, no hormones, no antibiotics, nitrates, nitrites, made from hungarian monks granola.
Then with the pressure comes the comparisons. Guess what...90% of these come from inside our own heads.
We think, well they eat all organic, maybe I should? They shop at the Gap for all their kids, should I? They have their kids on the paleo/vegan/whole30 diet, maybe I should?
Why do we do this to ourselves? It's like high school all over again, and, quite frankly, its tiring. I hated high school. Not in the moment, I loved it. I was involved, I had awesome friends, and dated a lot. It all changed my senior year when one of my best friends set out to make my life as miserable as can be. That was the beginning of the end.
Looking back at my high school career now, I was so caught up in the science behind what made kids more likable, what made them popular, and how could I possibly be more like them. I wanted to use their same beauty products, certain it would make all the difference in the world. This is how advertising executives make their money.
Why do we compare ourselves to others? Inherently, it is a survival trait. We see someone that is well-liked, attractive, and healthy looking, we mimic their behaviors to provide the best outcomes to survive this life.
This is Facebook, and I find myself questioning my choice on being online to begin with. Everyone posts what they want you to see, and basically live their life to post on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. (ex. let's go to the park, it would make a great photo op for Instagram. Then people will see I go to the park with my kids)
But what do people on Facebook not see? They don't see the messy, the cranky, and the everyday life.
Recently, I've had a lot of people come up to me because of some of my Facebook posts and say, "Wow you are such a wonder mom! You have had a sick husband, ran 2 half marathons, and graduated with your degree!"
They don't see the lack of sleep from studying at night, knowing I can't stop going to school because my husband isn't in full remission.
They don't see the anxiety I get from the unknown, from chickens dying, and the counseling I go to because of the stress and coping I need for my life. Running is how I treat my anxiety; when I run, I feel better, and the endorphins help me be my best self for my kids.
They don't see the hours of chemo appointments, the scans, the doctors that I struggle with.
The overeating because sometimes that's how I deal with defiant child I have been blessed with.
Like I said, life is hard.
The only One who sees everything, is Heavenly Father and Christ. They see the messy life along with the primped Facebook life. They see the struggles and the triumphs. They are there for us anytime, and are encouraging us to press forward.
Matthew 6 teaches us to not live our life to be seen of men; we need to live our lives to praise God, do what He would have us do, and find those who are searching for light in the dark, messy, and crazy world.
Because without God, how would we navigate anything in this world?
Sunday, May 21, 2017
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
I Can't Do EVERYTHING
In my last post, I wrote, "I can do all things through Christ which strenghtenth me."
This scripture doesn't mean I can do EVERYTHING. It means when we do things through Christ, He will give us strength. But we need to decipher in our lives what is required of us, recommended of us, or restricted to us.
I have a tendency of signing up for everything. If it falls under the required or recommended category, I immediately place it in the required group and try to do everything.
For example, 3 years ago, I had the strongest impression I needed to go to school and finish my degree. This I placed under the required category. It had always been in the recommended category, but once the prompting was there, I moved that (rightfully) to the required category. I have since gotten my associate's degree, and am pursuing my bachelor's degree.
However, this impression didn't say, "Get your degree as fast as you can!" I added on the preposition, and like someone who wants to follow the Lord, I signed up for full-time classes.
It all came to a head last night, when doing homework, after a full day of taking care of 3 kids, doing yard work, and taking care of my chickens, I broke down. I realized I cannot do EVERYTHING. I can't make time, and I certainly cannot put off my responsibilities to my kids, my house, and my awesome little farm.
Another example is homeschooling. I want to homeschool. There I said it. My neighbor homeschools her sweet boys and it look like fun, and I love the idea of my kids learning from me, and not what the federal government decides for them to learn that year. I have been toying with the idea of homeschooling for nearly 2 years now. And by toying, I mean being tormented beyond belief. It is something that probably falls under the "recommended" category. I was willing, I was ready to take the plunge, something kept me right on the verge of ordering curriculum and stealing my child away from "state-funded daycare" as one homeschooling mom put it.
Last year my husband was diagnosed with stage II appendix cancer on the first day of school. Was that what lead me to be hesitant? Possibly, there's never a way to be sure. After 6 months of chemo, they think they have it all, and scans are scheduled to look for more. Could I homeschool while being a caregiver to my husband? Probably, as some moms point out, it only takes a couple hours a day. But my daughter needed a break from the chemo, the cancer, and she just needed to be a kid this year.
So can we do EVERYTHING? Some moms can, and I stare in wonderment as they walk down the street. But I know that I can't, and I'm okay with that. I'm ok that I ate cereal for breakfast, and my kids had waffles made with *gasp* white flour. I'm okay that I walked my daughter to the bus in my sweats with my bedhead, but she still kissed me goodbye.
My family will survive public school, my family will survive me going to school, we will even survive a cancer diagnosis. But we cannot survive if Mom loses their you-know-what nearly everyday from trying to be everything to everyone. I have my limitations, and that's okay.
As Proverbs puts it, "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." (Proverbs 14:1) That scripture has never meant more to me than it does now. I know exactly what they mean by plucketh their house down. Like the go crazy and lock yourself in your pantry, losing your temper, or what I'm majorly guilty of, signing up for too much stuff and losing your mind when you are so overly stressed.
If we constantly listen to the Lord, praise His name, and teach our kids about Christ, we will be enough.
This scripture doesn't mean I can do EVERYTHING. It means when we do things through Christ, He will give us strength. But we need to decipher in our lives what is required of us, recommended of us, or restricted to us.
I have a tendency of signing up for everything. If it falls under the required or recommended category, I immediately place it in the required group and try to do everything.
For example, 3 years ago, I had the strongest impression I needed to go to school and finish my degree. This I placed under the required category. It had always been in the recommended category, but once the prompting was there, I moved that (rightfully) to the required category. I have since gotten my associate's degree, and am pursuing my bachelor's degree.
However, this impression didn't say, "Get your degree as fast as you can!" I added on the preposition, and like someone who wants to follow the Lord, I signed up for full-time classes.
It all came to a head last night, when doing homework, after a full day of taking care of 3 kids, doing yard work, and taking care of my chickens, I broke down. I realized I cannot do EVERYTHING. I can't make time, and I certainly cannot put off my responsibilities to my kids, my house, and my awesome little farm.
Another example is homeschooling. I want to homeschool. There I said it. My neighbor homeschools her sweet boys and it look like fun, and I love the idea of my kids learning from me, and not what the federal government decides for them to learn that year. I have been toying with the idea of homeschooling for nearly 2 years now. And by toying, I mean being tormented beyond belief. It is something that probably falls under the "recommended" category. I was willing, I was ready to take the plunge, something kept me right on the verge of ordering curriculum and stealing my child away from "state-funded daycare" as one homeschooling mom put it.
Last year my husband was diagnosed with stage II appendix cancer on the first day of school. Was that what lead me to be hesitant? Possibly, there's never a way to be sure. After 6 months of chemo, they think they have it all, and scans are scheduled to look for more. Could I homeschool while being a caregiver to my husband? Probably, as some moms point out, it only takes a couple hours a day. But my daughter needed a break from the chemo, the cancer, and she just needed to be a kid this year.
So can we do EVERYTHING? Some moms can, and I stare in wonderment as they walk down the street. But I know that I can't, and I'm okay with that. I'm ok that I ate cereal for breakfast, and my kids had waffles made with *gasp* white flour. I'm okay that I walked my daughter to the bus in my sweats with my bedhead, but she still kissed me goodbye.
My family will survive public school, my family will survive me going to school, we will even survive a cancer diagnosis. But we cannot survive if Mom loses their you-know-what nearly everyday from trying to be everything to everyone. I have my limitations, and that's okay.
As Proverbs puts it, "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." (Proverbs 14:1) That scripture has never meant more to me than it does now. I know exactly what they mean by plucketh their house down. Like the go crazy and lock yourself in your pantry, losing your temper, or what I'm majorly guilty of, signing up for too much stuff and losing your mind when you are so overly stressed.
If we constantly listen to the Lord, praise His name, and teach our kids about Christ, we will be enough.
Sunday, May 14, 2017
Press Forward
Today is Mother's Day.
Some days as a mother are harder than others: the first night alone with a newborn, the first day of kindergarten, the first time you see your child fail at something, and for some reason, Mother's Day sometimes ranks on that list.
It should be a day when we look around and are so grateful for what we have. We are to be praised and respected that day, right?
But when a husband is working, or you are a single mother, Mother's Day can be one of the hardest days because it is a lot of emotion and work.
This is how my day started out. I was determined not to get down today. My husband was at work, because healthcare never sleeps, and I was making the best of it. It was the sabbath and I delighted in the opportunity to go to church, have 2 hours of kids in their classes which means 2 hours of learning, praising, and rejoicing in Christ.
I trudged on, getting the kids ready, giving baths, one haircut, and even went as far as to make french toast for breakfast from the leftover homemade bread I had made for the sacrament at church.
I showed up early, like 30 minutes early, to get a good seat, give the bread to those who needed to prepare it, and find peace before the meetings.
It all went downhill from there.
We were in the chapel, and my daughter threw up everywhere. I dropped everything and raced her to the bathroom, but not before she threw up 2 more times on the way to the bathroom, and once when we got there, all over the floors.
I was immediately blessed by a sweet sister that, although she has 5 kids of her own, is always there to help me out. She jumped to action, cleaning, disinfecting, and helping my daughter wash her hands.
We rushed out, kids screaming and upset they would miss church and the opportunity to sing to me at church. I got home and disinfected everything, even my new $100 shoes that I wore for one of the first times today for the special occasion. I instantly started asking why? Why would this happen to me? Why on Mother's Day? And why right in the middle of church?
Struggling is something that comes naturally to me as of late. Like really natural and I tend to become a crying mess before the day runs out most days.
It wasn't always this way. I used to be an optimist. I would be bright and cheery. In fact, I just struggled yesterday about the fact that I wasn't the cheery optimist I was in high school. Life got hard and the struggling started.
This is when I decided I needed the Lord. When I can't go to the Lord at church, He needs to come to me in the scriptures and through the Prophets.
We are told in Philippians, "I can do all things through Christ which stengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13)
All things. I can do it all. I can go to church by myself with three kids. I can find peace. I can someday find happiness through the struggling. I can have Mother's Day filled with gospel movies and throw up. I can do a all things.
Christ gives us strength in our trials because He has felt our struggles. He knows our hearts. He knows what we have, and he supplements what we cannot provide.
So mothers, go on and press forward. Find the happiness through Christ. Find strength through Him and He will always be there.
Because tomorrow, we get to start the day all over again...
Some days as a mother are harder than others: the first night alone with a newborn, the first day of kindergarten, the first time you see your child fail at something, and for some reason, Mother's Day sometimes ranks on that list.
It should be a day when we look around and are so grateful for what we have. We are to be praised and respected that day, right?
But when a husband is working, or you are a single mother, Mother's Day can be one of the hardest days because it is a lot of emotion and work.
This is how my day started out. I was determined not to get down today. My husband was at work, because healthcare never sleeps, and I was making the best of it. It was the sabbath and I delighted in the opportunity to go to church, have 2 hours of kids in their classes which means 2 hours of learning, praising, and rejoicing in Christ.
I trudged on, getting the kids ready, giving baths, one haircut, and even went as far as to make french toast for breakfast from the leftover homemade bread I had made for the sacrament at church.
I showed up early, like 30 minutes early, to get a good seat, give the bread to those who needed to prepare it, and find peace before the meetings.
It all went downhill from there.
We were in the chapel, and my daughter threw up everywhere. I dropped everything and raced her to the bathroom, but not before she threw up 2 more times on the way to the bathroom, and once when we got there, all over the floors.
I was immediately blessed by a sweet sister that, although she has 5 kids of her own, is always there to help me out. She jumped to action, cleaning, disinfecting, and helping my daughter wash her hands.
We rushed out, kids screaming and upset they would miss church and the opportunity to sing to me at church. I got home and disinfected everything, even my new $100 shoes that I wore for one of the first times today for the special occasion. I instantly started asking why? Why would this happen to me? Why on Mother's Day? And why right in the middle of church?
Struggling is something that comes naturally to me as of late. Like really natural and I tend to become a crying mess before the day runs out most days.
It wasn't always this way. I used to be an optimist. I would be bright and cheery. In fact, I just struggled yesterday about the fact that I wasn't the cheery optimist I was in high school. Life got hard and the struggling started.
This is when I decided I needed the Lord. When I can't go to the Lord at church, He needs to come to me in the scriptures and through the Prophets.
We are told in Philippians, "I can do all things through Christ which stengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13)
All things. I can do it all. I can go to church by myself with three kids. I can find peace. I can someday find happiness through the struggling. I can have Mother's Day filled with gospel movies and throw up. I can do a all things.
Christ gives us strength in our trials because He has felt our struggles. He knows our hearts. He knows what we have, and he supplements what we cannot provide.
So mothers, go on and press forward. Find the happiness through Christ. Find strength through Him and He will always be there.
Because tomorrow, we get to start the day all over again...
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